A Waking Life

I've made it three days into clerkship. It has required some adjustments to my schedule. For the past few weeks, I'd generally been going to bed somewhere between 2 and 5 in the morning. This week, I've been getting up at 4:45, to try make it onto the wards at 6:15.

That said, it hasn't been difficult, as the work is interesting, and pretty relaxing. Hmm, what can I say about things...

I have been known to be jealous of people who get to retract. "He/She's probably in the OR right now, holding a retractor!" was one of the phrases I used most often last summer, always accompanied with the voice and face of pure envy. Well, now *I'm* the one who's doing the retracting, people, and let me tell you, retractors come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, including 196 cm. Okay, retraction isn't the only fun I've had; I put in a VATS port on Monday, from incision to insertion, and used a stapler for the first time yesterday.

Anyways, how is it? There is a mix of apprehension and enjoyment inside me. On the one had, it's clear that I'm grossly under-prepared for this. On the other hand, it looks like it will be a wild ride.

The Trashcan Sinatras wrote this about clerkship (I suspect):

But i forget the conversation we had,
i don't remember what you said or did
that made you so attractive.

Yes, attractive. It's the mesmerization that induces amnesia.

Konfusion

Happily, I was right in thinking that organizing my recyclables was the key to organizing my life. The apartment is almost ship-shape, and I've recovered my joie de vivre just in time for clerkship.

I'm still clueless as to what will be happening tomorrow, though. Will I be put straight to work, or will I get to relax and find out how the heck everything works? It's a mystery. I should have watched a chest-tube-insertion video or two today, or memorized surgical instrument names.

Like I've mentioned in earlier posts, I've been listening to the Trashcan Sinatras a lot recently. This verse reminded me of moving on from classrooms to clerkship:

Soothe your fear, we're off where it's warmer
Here's to all of us, I know you are worried
We're leaving here, regret to inform you
Leaving everything, it's just that we've got to
believe in everything, we're leaving everything

Anyways:

Bring it on...